An Actual Email I Was Sent

As a spin-off of my previous series An Actual Email I Sent (“series” may be a little strong since I only did it once), here’s an actual email I was sent (please ignore use of passive voice) by my childhood best friend’s mother, who has taken to sending me the occasional state job posting (in hopes of bringing me over to the dark side of applauded inefficiency and “really great benefits”):

Maybe in a week follow up w an email to to verify that they received your application…. I am asking some attorneys that I know here in the department if they know anyone at the department that might be able to mention your name….I got your back girlfriend (a little too weird?)  Did Meaghan mentioned that I am going to be the DD for the condom caravan this weekend?

Please mentally fill in the [sic]s for yourself. I should probably mention that my friend Meaghan does educational events for her job at Planned Parenthood. Still, as Clare is an Irish Catholic mother similar to the Wonder Years mom, this email brought me joy.